Growth and Development

As caretaking grandparents we are in position to be a profound positive influence on our grandchildren's lives. The responsibility is rewarding, but not without challenges. Undesirable behaviors and discipline issues are best undertaken as a team with the parents taking the lead. But if we find ourselves alone in meeting these challenges, it's all the more important to distinguish between the normal developmental process of a particular age group and that which may be a true problem that we need to address. Choosing our battles wisely can help us be more effective and less stressed about the phases our grandkids go through in the growing up process.

Below is a table that lists some typical behavior patterns of children in various age groups.

5-7 Years	7-10 Years
Strongly attached to home and family Short interest span Aware mainly of self and own desires Prefer imaginative, make-believe play Like to explore their expanding world Desire repetition of enjoyable experiences Easily upset by change in routines or environment Learning to get along with one another, and to work and play in small groups Boys and girls play together readily Very dependent on adults for meeting physical and emotional needs Need patient understanding and close supervision. This age responds best to those who look after their needs, show interest in them, and who are fair and capable of humor and imagination.	Ready for a live-away experience Lengthening interest span Aware of others and their wants Willing to share Desire acceptance from own age group Need close friendship with playmate Able to express selves freely in art forms and play Interested in competition related to one's standing in the group Desire better skills performance Interest in group games and activities Want everyone to obey stated rules and regulations Strongly identify with own sex and age group This group has similar needs as the 5-7 year old group, but with a stronger emphasis on activities.
10-12Years	12-15 Years
Strong desire for live-away experience Want to be together in groups, teams Have longer interest span, patience to work toward short-term goals Form cliques and friendships with own sex and age group Seek status through excellence in skills and knowledge of grown-up things Fairly competitive in team and individual activities Growing concern with physical size and appearance Girls at upper-age level develop interest in boys Boys and girls can work and socialize in programs where they share planning responsibilities Like to make, do, collect things Enjoy being mischievous and daring Respond enthusiastically to those who can understand and guide their tremendous energy and mischievousness; tend to idolize the caretakers who measure up to this task.	Growing away from family ties and influence Still want reassurance of adult supervision and attention to daily needs Strong drive for conformity with own age group Intense feelings and emotions Greatly influenced by popular adults and teenage idols - hero worship and crush stage Rapidly changing interests and ambitions Long interest span and increasing capacity for self-discipline Prefer competition with outside groups over competition with friends Idealistic about the world at large Concerned with personal appearance, frequently self-conscious and inhibited Puberty; girls begin to menstruate, boys' sex glands begin to function actively; first for girls, later for boys First girls, then boys, begin to establish heterosexual relationships Boys and girls can work together on projects better than they can socialize Respond to those who exemplify the idealism of this stage. The intelligence and variety of experience of the person becomes as important as their skills. Period of greatest potential influence by caretakers.
15-17 Years	Links To Additional Information
Want to earn money for independence and freedom Pressure for increased responsibility Need to be treated as young adults Occasionally revert to childish behavior Seek prestige and belonging to the power group Able to concentrate and specialize in selected skills and interests Expansive and changing ambitions Conflict between idealism and materialism Develop crushes with depth of feeling Tend to cover own weaknesses with similar weaknesses of the group Very critical of self Respond best to counselors with the ability to identify and understand their individual conflicts, concerns, and ambitions.	Normal Stages of Human Development (Birth to 5 Years) Child Development Institute (PDF) Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Disciplining Your Grandchild Grandchildren With Special Needs: Grandparents: Focus On The Child–AARP.org Providing A Nurturing Environment For Grandchildren:Consumer Product Safety Commission–A Grandparent's Guide For Family Nurturing and Safety Helping Grandchildren Succeed In School:Grandparents As Parents: Helping Children Succeed In School–Family and Consumer Sciences

5-7 Years

7-10 Years

Strongly attached to home and family
Short interest span
Aware mainly of self and own desires
Prefer imaginative, make-believe play
Like to explore their expanding world
Desire repetition of enjoyable experiences
Easily upset by change in routines or environment
Learning to get along with one another,
and to work and play in small groups
Boys and girls play together readily
Very dependent on adults for meeting physical
and emotional needs
Need patient understanding and close supervision.

This age responds best to those who look after their needs, show interest in them, and who are fair and capable of humor and imagination.

Ready for a live-away experience
Lengthening interest span
Aware of others and their wants
Willing to share
Desire acceptance from own age group
Need close friendship with playmate
Able to express selves freely in art forms
and play
Interested in competition related to one's
standing in the group
Desire better skills performance
Interest in group games and activities
Want everyone to obey stated rules and regulations
Strongly identify with own sex and age group

This group has similar needs as the 5-7 year old group, but with a stronger emphasis on activities.

10-12Years

12-15 Years

Strong desire for live-away experience
Want to be together in groups, teams
Have longer interest span, patience to work toward short-term goals
Form cliques and friendships with own sex and age group
Seek status through excellence in skills and knowledge of grown-up things
Fairly competitive in team and individual activities
Growing concern with physical size and appearance
Girls at upper-age level develop interest in boys
Boys and girls can work and socialize in programs where they share planning responsibilities
Like to make, do, collect things
Enjoy being mischievous and daring

Respond enthusiastically to those who can understand and guide their tremendous energy and mischievousness; tend to idolize the caretakers who measure up to this task.

Growing away from family ties and influence
Still want reassurance of adult supervision and attention to daily needs
Strong drive for conformity with own age group
Intense feelings and emotions
Greatly influenced by popular adults and teenage idols - hero worship and crush stage
Rapidly changing interests and ambitions
Long interest span and increasing capacity for self-discipline
Prefer competition with outside groups over competition with friends
Idealistic about the world at large
Concerned with personal appearance, frequently self-conscious and inhibited
Puberty; girls begin to menstruate, boys' sex glands begin to function actively; first for girls, later for boys
First girls, then boys, begin to establish heterosexual relationships
Boys and girls can work together on projects better than they can socialize

Respond to those who exemplify the idealism of this stage. The intelligence and variety of experience of the person becomes as important as their skills. Period of greatest potential influence by caretakers.

15-17 Years

Links To Additional Information

Want to earn money for independence and freedom
Pressure for increased responsibility
Need to be treated as young adults
Occasionally revert to childish behavior
Seek prestige and belonging to the power group
Able to concentrate and specialize in selected skills and interests
Expansive and changing ambitions
Conflict between idealism and materialism
Develop crushes with depth of feeling
Tend to cover own weaknesses with similar weaknesses of the group
Very critical of self

Respond best to counselors with the ability to identify and understand their individual conflicts, concerns, and ambitions.

Normal Stages of Human Development (Birth to 5 Years) Child Development Institute

(PDF) Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Disciplining Your Grandchild

Grandchildren With Special Needs: Grandparents: Focus On The Child–AARP.org

Providing A Nurturing Environment For Grandchildren:Consumer Product Safety Commission–A Grandparent's Guide For Family Nurturing and Safety

Helping Grandchildren Succeed In School:Grandparents As Parents: Helping Children Succeed In School–Family and Consumer Sciences

External Links